Abduction

Ok, I know, I know... You are right.  I should have known better.  I thought the movie looked like it could be good.  I thought maybe Taylor Lautner just sicked in the Twilight films cause everyone in the Twilight films sucks quite a bit.  Turns out that Taylor Lautner is actually just a pretty crappy actor.  I thought maybe Maria Bello and Sigourney Weaver would not have attached themselves to a film that was absolute crap. I was wrong.  

This movie was pretty bad from beginning to end.  It starts with Lautner's character, Nathan, riding recklessly on the front of a truck as it races through the mountains.  What this had to do with the rest of the film, I have no idea.  Next we see Nathan getting trashed with his friends and waking up passed out on some girls lawn.  This leads us to seeing his father push him to fight even though he is hung over.  The acting is forced, the fighting is obviously staged, the whole thing is trite.  

If you can't tell from the previews, Nathan isn't who he thinks he is, and neither are his parents.  His real father is CIA, well sort of.  His parents, well the people he thinks are his parents, are CIA agents as well.  They were assigned to protect him.  Then there is the bad guy, a weird man who wants a list that Nathan's real father has, but he has decided to go through Nathan to get it.  Oh yeah and then there is Nathan's shrink, Sigourney Weaver, who is CIA also.  As well as the head of the CIA who is trying to find Nathan but apparently can't be trusted.  Are you following all this?  If not don't worry, none of it was really important.  

What is important in this movie?  Lautner's fighting and jumping over things, that happens a lot.  Lautner making out with his female costar who is a bit of a wuss and with whom he had zero chemistry.  Alfred Molina being outsmarted by a teenager, that happens a good bit as well.  

I will finally admit it.  Taylor Lautner is a crappy actor.  The boy is as fine as the day is long, but he could not act his way out of a paper bag.  Too be fair to the young man, he was trained to fight and be an actor by Billy the Blue Ranger.  I guess if that is your mark for being talented then he is doing a fine job.  The rest of the cast pretty much stank up the screen as well.  The dialogue was forced, the fight scenes were obviously choreographed (and poorly at that), the acting was flat, and the story was just plain boring.  Please save your money.  Even fans of Taylor will leave the theather disappointed, there are only two scenes where he takes his shirt off.  When I shell out ten bucks I expect no less than five gratuitous shots of that beautiful body.  I mean seriously when he acts that badly, what else is the kid good for besides being some serious eye candy?

Happy Viewing (of anything else in theaters)!