Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri Make a Porno: D-

The fact that I saw this movie is part of the reason that I wanted to start posting my own reviews of movies. I read on some review somewhere that despite the images the title suggests it was actually a cute romantic comedy. Seth Rogen is typically funny, he cracked me up as Bob in his guest appearance on Dawson's Creek. Elizabeth Banks is cute and funny, love love loved her on Scrubs. These things added up to me looking forward to this film.

I expected the leads to fall in love, I expected them to discuss having sex in somewhat graphic terms, I even expected to see nudity. What I did not expect was full on porn during portions of the film. This movie was as raunchy, and disturbing as the title would imply. I am not the kind of person who minds a little blue humor. I am actually the queen of That's What She Said jokes. That being said, you have to know when enough is enough. I dont believe that the word anal has ever been used in a movie more than it was in this one.

The movie starts out innocently enough, Zack and Miri live in a crappy apartment together. They have been friends since high school, they both have crappy jobs and they haven't paid their bills in months. At their high school reunion Miri plans to seduce the high school BMOC, and Zack plans to get hammer trashed and hook up with married ladies. It turns out the the high school stud is gay, and his boyfriend is a gay-porn star in California. He describes the things he does in movies with astounding detail. This scene actually made me dislike Justin Long, a difficulkt task considering Dodgeball is a go-to funny movie fave. When they find that their power and water have been shut off because they havent paid their bills they head to a bar. Surprisingly enough while they can't afford to pay for the services they use, they can afford to pay for several beers at 5 bucks a pop. Instead of choosing to make better choices with their money, because that would make for a more realistic and probably better movie, they choose to produce a porn film and sell it to their high school alums through the mialing list they got at the reunion.

From here the movie chronicles their attempts to find people to star in the movie. They hold auditions, which turn out to be akin to a sexual talent show. Their potential dirty names for the movie are uninspired and unhumorous, I could dream up funnier porn names and I dont get paid to write movies. This movie has made me lose my faith in Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen. I would list Dogma as one of my favorite movies, I love Knocked Up, this did not hold up to the high standards of humor that were estabilshed in those earlier films. Humor in this movie was only delivered through the "Oh my did they really just say/do that?" type of situation as opposed to anything that would actually qualify as a joke.

If I wanted to watch people have sex with each other, I would go to an adult video store and purchase an actual porno. I do not want to watch people have sex with each other, no judgment to those of you who do, it's just not my viewing option of choice. When I watch a movie I want to be able to invest in the characters, to feel like I could be freinds with them. With this movie you learn nothing about the characters (outside of the title two) outside of the fact that they are willing to have sex on film and they have special sexual skills. I felt no closeness to anyone in the movie, you dont get the glimpse into their lives that is needed to connect with a character. When I watch a movie I want to see a good story. The film leaves almost every story line unfinished. They wrap up the main relationship and that is the only closure that you get.

All in all this movie fell flat (no pun intended). It was awkward to watch, I thanked my lucky stars that I chose to view this alone. It wasnt more disgusting than it was funny. I felt no compassion for any of the characters as I was not given any motivation to feel so. The story had no ending. Can I please have the 101 minutes of my life back?

And that's the way I see it.